The Guise of a Gentleman (Rogue Hearts) Page 11

  “Colin,” he said. “You know I’m merely playing when I say I used to be a pirate, don’t you?”

  Colin blinked. “You never were a pirate?”

  Jared wanted to squirm under that focused stare. Only a monster could lie to this sweet, trusting child.

  “During the war I served aboard a privateer. Everything I did at sea, I did for king and country.”

  He spoke honestly; even his stint posing as a true pirate had been for king and country. Unfortunately, that role required him to behave as a reprobate. He’d committed acts of violence and theft which made him unworthy of the company he kept tonight. A myriad of memories poured over him and he guarded his expression under their watchful eyes.

  Colin digested Jared’s declaration, and Elise’s posture relaxed. She sent him a grateful smile.

  “Were you the captain?” the boy pressed.

  “I became the captain, in time. I went to sea at the age of twelve, and I had much to learn before I could take command.”

  Colin turned to his mother. “You would never let me go to sea, would you?”

  “You would break my heart if you did, my love.”

  Colin’s face fell. Poor child. Tonight had brought the disillusionment of many of the boy’s fantasies.

  A plump, matronly woman appeared at the doorway of the nursery. Elise arose. Jared scrambled to his feet and Colin followed suit.

  “It’s time for bed, my love.” Elise leaned over, gathered the child into her arms and kissed him soundly on the cheek.

  Colin glanced at Jared, clearly embarrassed at the unmanly display of affection. Then, unable to resist his mother’s affection, he snuggled into her.

  Jared didn’t blame him. He wouldn’t be capable of resisting her, either.

  Colin turned to Jared and threw his arms around him. Jared hugged him back and ruffled his hair.

  “Say your prayers, Colin.” Elise turned to Jared. “We have a fine Madeira in the study, if you are interested.”

  Jared quickly recovered from his surprise. He’d assumed Colin’s bedtime would mark the end of the evening. “Thank you.”

  As she led him down the stairs, he kept pace with her, unable to keep his eyes off her. Her gown alternately clung to and flowed around her full, slender body. He admired the feminine lines of her neck and shoulders. His gaze moved downward to the womanly fullness of her breasts, the curve of her waist, the gently swaying hips.

  He pulled at the suddenly strangling cravat and wondered when it had gotten so warm in the house.

  Inside the study, she poured him a glass of Madeira. He accepted it without taking his eyes off her face. Tingles flared as their fingers brushed.

  A flush crept over her face. She sank into a large armchair. “How are you enjoying your stay in our quiet little corner of the country?”

  He gave her a lop-sided grin at her obvious attempt to break the tension. “Very much. More than I expected.”

  “I understand you’ve only let the house for the summer?”

  “The terms of the lease are somewhat lax in this case. I’ve committed to the summer, with the option of keeping it longer if I so desire.”

  She nodded, her lashes hiding her eyes. “Do you plan to extend it, then?”

  Jared took a sip of the Madeira. It was, indeed, noteworthy. “I have not yet decided.”

  Without looking up, she folded her hands in her lap. “Colin will be sad to see you go, I am sure.”

  “I can’t believe how quickly I’ve fallen for his charms.”

  “You like children. There’s no shame in that.”

  “I suppose I do.”

  “You have affection for the boy who was with you that day we, er, met.”

  Jared resisted the urge to groan. “I can’t imagine a more awkward circumstance in which to make an acquaintance.”

  Her lips curved. “It’s not the way I normally go about doing it, either.”

  Chuckling, he seated himself in a chair near hers by the fire. “I’m not quite sure how I would have extracted myself from that difficulty. I’m grateful you happened along. And had the courage to intervene.”

  “Who is the boy?”

  “José. He’s my tiger, of late. My cabin boy, formerly.”

  “He looks young for such roles.”

  “He’s small for a ten-year-old, but very bright.”

  “How did he come to be in your care?”

  “His father served as my quartermaster before his death. The mother died years ago. So I kept him on. He had no one else.” Jared stared pensively into his drink. “He’s seen far too much violence. I wish I could have spared him all that. A ship is no place for a child.” Especially a pirate ship. “He likes the horses and the head groom treats him well. He’ll be all right. Of course, with me as a master, the odds are stacked against him.”

  “Is it fashionable for gentlemen to speak unfavorably of themselves, or do you really have such a skewed opinion of yourself?”

  The softness in her expression gave him pause. He wondered if he’d let down his guard too much and thought over his words.

  He froze, the icy fingers of dread squeezing his stomach. He’d let slip that he had a quartermaster. Would she know what the position entailed? He watched her carefully, but her expression only revealed mild curiosity.

  Jared took a drink to allow himself time to form a reply. In her presence, he seemed to be revealing all sorts of things without thinking.

  She smiled gently and spared him from having to answer. “What have you done since the war?”

  “A great deal of no good, I’m afraid.”

  Elise nodded slowly. “Charlotte Greymore told me Mr. Greymore returned from the war a changed man. He spent the first year after his return trying to outrun the ghosts that seemed to haunt him. One of Edward’s friends came home and literally drank himself to death.”

  “The atrocities one witnesses, and even commits, during a war are appalling; nothing any decent human would believe. We all must deal with the aftermath in our own way.” He rubbed his hand down his face, hoping his own war would end soon.

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

  He almost cursed in front of the lady before he caught himself. In all his years since he’d left home, he’d never spoken so openly with anyone. How had he managed to be an effective operative for twelve years without letting anything slip, yet in this lady’s presence, start babbling like a half-wit?

  Dismayed, he managed a wry smile, but the compassion in her expression made him want to weep. He finished the Madeira and pulled himself together.

  “I do like it here. Greymore and I are old friends, and Lady Standwich has been dutiful in her attentions.”

  “She is a dear lady.” She fixed a steady gaze upon him. “I’m sorry I questioned your motivations regarding Colin. It was foolish of me to think you’d go to so much trouble to court me.”

  He grinned. “I must admit though, your idea is rather ingenious. If ever a man wanted to court a reluctant widow, it would be through her son. I wonder if Druesdale or Bradford will think of that, since archery didn’t seem to turn your head.”

  She shook her head. “Lady Standwich’s machinations, no doubt. She seems to think now that she’s about to remarry, I should, as well.”

  “She’s a persistent lady. Almost as much as my Aunt Livy.”

  “She must have been lonelier as a widow than she admitted, for she seems unable to imagine anyone happy outside of wedded bliss.” Elise sighed.

  He raised a brow. “You don’t agree.”

  “I was happily married. But I am content not to wed again.”

  “Why? You are clearly lonely, too.”

  “Lonely!”

  Jared stared at her sudden display of anger from such a gentle soul.

  “How dare you tell me what I feel! I am quite happy caring for my son and I don’t need a man to disrupt my life. I was happy with my husband. I’ll never find another man like him.”

  His own
ire rising, he struggled to control his voice. “I hope you don’t find someone like him. You’d be smothered again like you were the first time.”

  She pounced on the word. “Smothered?”

  “You like your freedom now that no one is here to censure you, but you crave being touched, you crave love. You have so much love to give, and no man to give it to.”

  “I don’t want a man. I have my estate and my son and people who count on me. It’s enough.” But the conviction had fled her voice, and doubt shadowed her eyes.

  Jared was tempted to point out all the times he’d witnessed her loneliness and how badly her son needed a man’s guidance, but he resisted. It didn’t matter. After he completed this final assignment and enjoyed a few years of unfettered travel, and not before, he would consider seeking a wife, all his earlier temptations notwithstanding. Forging any kind of attachments now would be dangerous. To all concerned.

  Leandro or one of his cronies might be watching him even now. He would be foolish to gamble upon the chance Leandro had returned to the sea. Knowing that uncertainty, Jared shouldn’t have come to Elise’s manor.

  But he’d wanted to come. He wanted to be with them. With her.

  He leaned forward. “Forgive me. I spoke out of turn.”

  Her anger softened, but her chest heaved. “I’ve grown weary of people advising me to remarry.”

  Jared kept his voice soft. “Perhaps they don’t wish to see you alone for the rest of your life.”

  He reached out and took her hand. She stiffened but did not pull away. He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. She looked torn between wanting to relax into his touch and fleeing his presence. He traced his fingers across the back of her smooth hand, over her knuckles, down her slender fingers. She went perfectly still.

  Very softly he said, “You startle whenever anyone initiates contact, but you clearly enjoy being touched.”

  “It’s not appropriate to be so familiar with others.” Her voice sounded oddly hoarse. Her pulse throbbed in her neck and her breath came in tiny gasps.

  Smug satisfaction crept over him. He put a teasing note into his voice. “You were quite familiar with me that day we met. I haven’t been touched in such a way in many, many years.”

  “I was trying to help you. And you returned the gesture with improper conduct.”

  Jared grinned at the blush that crept over her face. “That’s another thing. You’re very concerned with propriety, and yet you often break the manners and mores when it suits you. I believe there is a bit of a rebel deep down inside you, longing for freedom from the strictures of society.”

  “I admit I have a somewhat laissez-faire attitude about certain things, especially concerning my son, but I assure you, I have no intention of suddenly becoming a woman of scandal.”

  He grinned and continued rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “I would never suggest such a thing. And widows, of course, are less closely censured than unwed young ladies. In a few years, you can call yourself an eccentric and be excused for almost any behavior.”

  She smiled faintly, her hand relaxing in his. Her focused gaze remained on his face and her expression softened further. “You seem to take delight in provoking me.”

  “I admit that I do. And I like soothing you afterward.” He skimmed his fingers down her cheek.

  She closed her eyes and tilted her head toward his hand. Yet some inner warning seemed to make her open her eyes and pull away.

  He held up his hands in surrender. “Relax. As much as I’m tempted, I’m not trying to seduce you.”

  She blinked. “You admit you are tempted to seduce me, but you aren’t going to make the attempt. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or terrified.”

  “The thought of seduction terrifies you?”

  “I…” Twisting her hands, she arose and turned away, hiding her expression.

  He stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She flinched. He dropped his hands but leaned in, his body almost touching hers.

  He whispered into her ear, “Do not fear me, Elise. I would never, ever hurt you.”

  She turned slowly to face him. Innocent desire, trepidation, and confusion all shone in her eyes.

  “I should go.” Before he ravished her right here. “Thank you for a most enjoyable evening. I truly can’t remember a more wonderful dinner. Good night, Mrs. Berkley.”

  “Good night, Mr. Amesbury.”

  He kissed her chastely on the cheek. She caught her breath. He smiled, almost undone by the tenderness growing in his heart for this woman. Unable to resist, he leaned in slowly, allowing her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted. She didn’t.

  He touched her smooth cheek, leaned in, and kissed her lightly. Her unpracticed mouth remained tight at first, but it grew more pliant under his. Fighting all his inclinations to the contrary, he eased back and looked at her. She blinked slowly as if dazed.

  If he ever decided to woo and win this lovely lady, he’d have to go very slowly. He wished he could tell the Secret Service to go to the devil so he could be free to pursue Elise Berkley.

  He inclined his head in a brief bow and left while he possessed the strength.

  CHAPTER 9

  On a low hillside, Jared lay on his stomach, ignoring the insects crawling over him, and watched the lights pouring out of the windows of Von Barondy’s house. A bramble scraped his back and a rock dug into his ribs, but he remained motionless. One by one, lights extinguished as servants went to bed, leaving the house in total darkness. Soon, he’d make his move.

  After a lonely dinner spent wishing he could enjoy it with the charming Elise Berkley and her equally charming son as he had last night, he’d gone to bed. Once the house was quiet, he’d risen, dressed all in black, and made his way to the Von Barondy residence. The viscount might be wily enough not to keep anything incriminating at his residence, but one never knew.

  Jared studied the watchmen carrying a lantern and leading two dogs as they made their rounds. After they passed by a third time, he understood their pattern. He arose. Using the night and his black clothing to conceal him, he crept soundlessly from his hiding place. He climbed over the stone fence, passed through the gardens, and approached the house.

  Predictably, all the windows on the ground floor were locked. No matter. After picking the lock at the kitchen door and easing in, he waited, listening, but heard nothing more than the steady beating of his own heart.

  He smiled wryly. Breaking into houses no longer even quickened his pulse.

  He wondered if his lack of excitement had more to do with the fact that he’d frequently done far more dangerous acts, or if it stemmed from weariness of his career. This may be the last time he’d ever have to play burglar. Relief to be rid of the whole nasty business mingled with doubt as to whether he could actually give up the adventure.

  When his eyes adjusted to the kitchen’s inky blackness, Jared stole forward. At the door, he paused again to listen. All remained quiet.

  He crept down the halls and opened several doors before he found a likely study with an imposing desk at the center of the room. Jared shook his head. Too obvious. But he’d check it anyway in case the man had no imagination.

  After making sure the draperies were closed and would block out any light for the watchmen to see, Jared lit a candle and set it on the desk.

  He found three hidden compartments in the desk, read a great deal of useless correspondence that he couldn’t imagine why Von Barondy would hide, and gave up on the desk. He found a wall safe with legal documents and some jewels, but nothing incriminating. After a thorough sweep of the room, Jared blew out the candle. He waited until he could see well enough to navigate silently through obstacles in the dark room before he moved.

  At the door, he paused, listening. Assured all remained quiet, Jared slipped into another room.

  And realized his error.

  A feminine gasp met his ears. The shadowy form of a woman stood silhouetted by the moonlight
pouring through a window. She turned from an extinguished lamp, its wick still glowing. If he’d arrived a second sooner, she would have clearly seen him in the lamplight.

  As the woman inhaled to scream, Jared leaped forward and placed a hand over her mouth.

  She let out a frightened squeak.

  Tightening his grip on her, he turned them both to put himself in the shadows. If they ever met in daylight, she would not recognize him. He hoped. Even with the moonlight on her face, he could barely make out her features, but her ragged breathing and heaving chest revealed her terror. He felt like a beast frightening a woman.

  He thought quickly. “Shhh, my dear,” he crooned, his voice barely above a whisper. “Forgive me for startling you. I could not keep you out of my thoughts. I had to see you again.”

  She went utterly still.

  Wondering how he was going to get out of this one, he stepped closer. As he leaned down to nuzzle her neck, he removed his hand from her mouth and caressed her cheek. “Give me hope, dear one. One kiss is all I ask, and then I’ll leave.”

  She caught her breath.

  His pulse throbbed. If she screamed now, he’d have to leap out the window and try to outrun the dogs.

  Her eyes fluttering closed, she leaned against him and lifted her mouth up toward his.

  Jared could hardly believe his good fortune. Not that there’d been a terrible shortage of willing women, of course, but to have her capitulate so quickly seemed too good to be true. His charm must be even better than he’d imagined. Unless she truly thought he was someone else.

  He kissed her softly. She sagged against him and placed a hand on his chest. This time she kissed him.

  His conscience stabbed him that he’d kissed Elise Berkley only last night, and yet stood here kissing a stranger. There were no promises made or asked with Elise, but he felt as if he were being unfaithful. Not to mention using an obviously innocent girl.

  He slowly broke the kiss, pressed his lips to the girl’s cheek, then backed away. “You give me hope, my dear one,” he whispered. “Until next time.”